What to do when you lose your job.
- Curry Forest
- Apr 7, 2022
- 12 min read
Updated: 17 hours ago
Unemployment is personal first, societal second, and economic third. But we often talk about it in reverse. In doing so, we don't recognize it as a trauma!
This article is part of the Emergency Budget Series that offers strategies on how to manage money during economic downturns, pandemics, layoffs, and other challenges beyond your control caused by external factors.
Millions of people are hurled into this emotional crisis every year. Whether you were fired, laid-off, are at the end of your contract, are in a period of transition (between school and work), or quit because of stress, burnout, existential crisis or unhappy circumstance, it is an experience that can feel like a genuine trauma, often accompanied by grief. While the weight of this unsettling time differs for each individual, its negative effects can linger within us for years. Recognizing this, it is vital to address both the practical and emotional aspects of this big change, and to remember that seeking professional guidance is a sign of strength if the emotional burden feels overwhelming. By taking the right steps, this difficult phase can bring you growth and stability, and put you on a path toward long-term happiness.
This is a large topic that affects each individual differently. So, I split this into FIVE sections. 1) Before your last day at the job. 2) First steps after your last day at the job. 3) The job search. 4) Manage your stress. 5) Life goals. Feel free to skip to the sections most relevant to you.
BEFORE YOUR LAST DAY AT THE JOB:
1. Don’t skip the exit interview. Depending on how you came to the end of your job, an exit interview can either feel like an opportunity or an ordeal. If it's the latter, your first step is to go about it as you would the former. There is a feeling that anything you say in an exit interview can be used against you. That is alarmist, and going into an exit interview with that attitude is counterproductive. This is your opportunity to end your job on a positive note. Your future employers will conduct thorough background checks and seek input from your colleagues. You will need letters of recommendation for them. You may even directly or indirectly work with your company or colleagues in the future. According to one survey, over 90% of senior managers said they would rehire ex-employees who left their company on good terms. Let everyone remember you by the contributions you made to the company. Acknowledge their contribution to your career. An exit interview is not the time to rattle off a litany of problems. Keep your parting observations about your work or your colleagues to yourself. Don’t give them any suggestions for change. You don’t owe them your ideas for building a better workplace. You don’t also owe them any information about your new job or pay level. You owe them a handshake!
2. Save all your important documents. Don’t leave any important information behind! First, check your company policy to see if you are allowed to take your projects with you. If you are, don’t wait till the last minute to do this job! Big files will take time to archive. Don’t also forget to backup all your conversations with colleagues (on chat, email and other communication channels! Don't take anything you are not allowed to take. It could land you in legal hot water!
3. Set up time with your HR. If they haven't set up a time with you, reach out to them! Fill out the required forms. Ask questions about your last paycheck, severance, unpaid sick and vacation leaves, and other benefits (health insurance, retirement plan, etc). If you were covered by an employment or union contract, you may ask why you were terminated. This is especially important if you feel like you were not let go with “good cause”. You will also want to find out how they handle inquiries from your future employers. Don’t leave without exploring other jobs in your company.
5 Common Issues People Face After Losing a Job, and What to Do
Missing Final Pay or PTO Payout: If your last paycheck or unused vacation time isn’t paid out, contact HR immediately. If that doesn’t resolve it, file a complaint with your state’s labor department.
Health Insurance Confusion and Delays: Employer coverage may end immediately, and COBRA notices can be delayed or incorrect. If you don’t receive timely info, contact your employer’s benefits administrator or reach out to your state’s labor department. Employers are usually required to pay final wages within a certain number of days after your last workday, and they can help you figure out the next step. Watch for gaps in coverage and double-check options for dependents and deadlines.
Access to Benefits or Severance Info: You might lose access to internal portals right after termination. Request benefits documents, severance terms, and final pay stubs before your last day.
Trouble Filing for Unemployment: File for unemployment benefits as soon as possible. If your claim is delayed or disputed, contact your state’s unemployment office with documentation in hand.
Discontinuation of Retirement Contributions: Some companies offer 401(k) matching or other retirement contributions. When you leave, those contributions stop. Make sure to review your retirement plan and inquire about rolling over the balance into an IRA or another retirement account to avoid unnecessary fees or taxes.
FIRST STEPS AFTER YOUR LAST DAY AT THE JOB:
1. Reach out to your loved ones and friends. This is not an experience you want to go through alone. When you are in the middle of a storm, it is hard to believe that it will all be over. But, what you need in the immediate is a safe shelter and a place of healing. If your loved ones are full of ideas on what you can do next, ask them to wait a few days until you are ready to hear them out.
2. Don't think about anything for two days. When you are anxious, your mind runs a million miles a minute. Most of the thoughts are exaggerated worries triggered by fear. You need to consciously shut them down and quieten your mind. As soon as you start running on a soundtrack of worry, say 'STOP! Not today!' 3. Get all the important things squared away:
a) Sign up for health insurance: You and your family might be eligible for COBRA coverage through your company, Medicaid, Medicare (eg: 60 years+), CHIP (eg: 18 years & under). You can also get insurance through the Affordable Care Act (ACA). Compare the plans and find the most affordable option.
b) Sign up for government assistance programs (unemployment benefits, SNAP, TANF, etc): Each State sets its own eligibility requirements, but even a small benefit can make a tremendous difference. It can pay for your insurance, a month's worth of grocery bills, or fuel for your car! Every drop counts! If you need immediate food assistance, call the National Hunger Hotline. You can also reach out to your local food banks. c) Budget for the next 6 months (or longer, if you have more savings): If you are fortunate, you won't have to wait too long to get a job. But, it's best to be prepared for the worst-case scenario. If you are among the fortunate few who received a severance, don't think of it as free money to spend as you normally would. You earned that money by putting in sweat equity. Treat it with respect, and invest it well. Break down your budget into "fixed", "variable"and "discretionary" expenses. Mark each expense with the following tags: "necessary", "downgrade", "optional", "remove”. Try your best to spend only on expenses marked “necessary”. If you are unable to pay your bills, DO NOT take a loan or go into credit card debt! There are a lot of better alternatives than going into debt! You may need to do some freelance or temp jobs while you search for a permanent job. If you are having troubling finding jobs yourself, contact temp agencies.
THE JOB SEARCH:
1. Start thinking about what you’re looking for next. Pick up a pen and notepad and answer the following questions. Try to be as detailed as possible with each of these questions!
a) What did I like and dislike about my previous jobs. b) What types of jobs do I want to do next? c) What kind of companies would I like to work for? d)What kind of culture would I want to be a part of). e) What do I need to do to get the job I want (Eg: Do I need to go back to school, get training, clear some certifications, do networking). f) What are three things I am willing and unwilling to compromise on?
2. Talk to work-related people, not only from your most recent workplace but also from your previous jobs. Update your resume (or resumes, if you have multiple specializations), get feedback on it, and upload it to various job sites. Ask for references from your ex-employers and colleagues. Connect with multiple recruiters. Reach out to your weak-ties.
Identify ALL the possible employers and track down specific teams/groups you would want to work with. If you're looking for something in the service industry, map out all the potential employers in your area. Start calling the people you want to work with, and ask to have a conversation about their workplace. Express your interest in working with them. Track all conversations on a spreadsheet, with detailed notes on who you talked to, when, and what came out of the conversation. Some conversations may lead to job opportunities, some to connections and some to ideas. Make a note of that! Tag each one as a"strong", "average" or "weak" match. Start with the "strong" matches and find ways to get to know that company/industry better. Follow up in regular intervals (but do not overwhelm them).
MANAGE YOUR STRESS:
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It's important to acknowledge that the emotional impact of unemployment varies significantly. Factors such as financial security, the suddenness of job loss, the availability of a support system, and an individual's personal history can influence the intensity of the trauma experienced.
1. Don’t use social media as a diary. It will affect your emotional wellness. Also, before applying for new jobs, clean up your social media as best as you can. 2. End every day by telling yourself one positive thing that happened on that day, and make sure it's a good one! If you can't think of anything, call a loved one and ask them to tell you one positive thing about you! Don't ever end your day on a down note. You will not believe how quickly one bad day can spiral into many. Good days are not as contagious. They need to be reaffirmed again and again. 3. Be kind to your body. A big part of managing one’s stress is eating well, working out, doing one fun activity at least for an hour every day, and sleeping on time! 4. Ruminating is not productive, but problem-solving is. Set up 15 minutes of “worry time” in the evening. Try to keep to the same time every day. Whenever you catch yourself worrying outside of your time frame, remind yourself to postpone the worry to your “worry time”. This way, you will not only contain your worries, but will also give them direction! During your worry time, list out all your worries, and mark the ones that are in your control, and the ones that are not. Let go of the ones that are not in your control. And come up with a plan for the things that are within your control. Eg: What’s in your control is your preparation for the interview. What’s not in your control is how the potential employer will perceive you. Every time you catch your mind drifting towards the latter, bring it back to the former! As soon as you catch yourself replaying the same conversations in your head, put a deliberate stop to it. Get some fresh air, focus on something completely unrelated to the problem and then do something productive.
5. Looking for a job is a full-time job. Looking for a job is a full-time commitment, but it requires self-discipline and emotional resilience. The repetitive cycle of applying and facing silence or rejection can take a toll on your motivation and self-worth, feeding self-doubt and frustration. It’s crucial to acknowledge these feelings without letting them take over. Remind yourself of your skills and past successes. Practice self-compassion, celebrate small wins, and focus on what you can control, refining applications, networking, and acquiring new skills. Job searching is a marathon, not a sprint, so set realistic expectations for the timeline and don’t hesitate to seek support from your network or a professional if the emotional weight becomes overwhelming.
a) Create a pretend work environment. There are millions of people looking for a job! Find a job search buddy, or a job search meetup group to keep you company. You can hold each other accountable while looking for a job! If that's not an option, enlist a family member to keep you on task every day.
b) Learn to appreciate free time. We are so used to spending our time in an overstimulated environment. It's natural to feel lost when we only have ourselves for company. This is a good time to learn to reconnect with yourself. Don't sleep all day or watch TV or throw yourself into house projects. Spend an hour a day being content doing nothing. Release yourself from your flurry of thoughts. Focus on staying present and loving yourself.
c) Find a part-time job. You don't have to find a job only to make money. You can even do it to find connection with other people, or to get your creative juices flowing. Spending a few hours a day being productive at a job can help keep your spirits up and your creative juices flowing. It is also a great way to get rid of the excess negative energy. If you don't like the idea of a part-time job, join a part-time hobby group! While this article offers general guidance, if you are experiencing profound distress, anxiety, or depression, seeking support from mental health professionals is crucial.
LIFE GOALS:
1. Your job is not your identity. When you are working, you spend most of your waking hours at your job or thinking about your job. It can make you feel like you are that chore you do! You are not your job. You are not a tool. You are a multifaceted person with an insatiable heart and mind that wants so much for you! So don't just focus on what job you want to do next, but who and what you want to be! The big questions of life demand an audience. Find listeners, sounding boards, voices of reason, advisors and supporters. Go beyond your immediate circle of friends and colleagues. Join networking groups, trade groups, community or service-based groups, alumni organizations, your local Chamber of Commerce, professional conferences and seminars, and workshops. Some of them will help you address your head and what you "think", and some of them will address your heart and what you "feel". Networking is time-consuming, energy-draining and expensive. So go about it with a clear plan! Write down a) what you're hoping to get out of each interaction and b) how much money and time you're willing to spend on it.
2. Consider alternative paths to broaden your perspectives while you explore a new job: freelance, consult, start a passion project, pursue further education, or take a sabbatical for personal growth. Consider other measures of success, such as impact, learning, work-life balance, and personal fulfillment. Research fields or roles you might not have previously considered, based on your skills and interests. Reach out to people in fields or roles you are curious about to learn more about their experiences. Take on shadowing opportunities to test out different interests. Reflect on your purpose and how your work and life can contribute to something larger than yourself.
3. Find ways to contribute to others. Unemployment is a major mental and physical health stressor. It's important to make a conscious effort to combat insecurities and loss of self-worth. You are a creative individual, a supportive friend, a curious learner: your job is just one facet of who you are. Giving your time and service to the community will help you receive support. Community service is a reminder that even when circumstances are not in our control, we can make an impact! Your acts of kindness can bring meaning to your life and others.
4. Avoid serious conversations with your dependents (eg: elderly parents, children). You may share the new budget with them, but keep discussions age-appropriate. Validate their emotions, and provide them plenty of reassurance. You don't have to be strong or unemotional around them. This is your opportunity to teach your children how to handle a big life change: be honest, vulnerable and proactive. Don't ever lean on them for emotional support, but allow them to love you.
Conclusion:
The experience of unemployment can feel overwhelming, but it is a temporary state. By utilizing the resources and strategies discussed, and by remembering your inherent worth beyond your job title, you can move forward with hope and confidence toward new opportunities and a fulfilling future.
Resources:
MIT Living Wage Calculator: This tool estimates the minimum income required to meet basic living expenses in specific regions, promoting awareness of labor practices and sustainable economic systems.
If you ever feel like you're at a breaking point or just need someone to talk to, consider reaching out to the Crisis Text Line. It's a free, confidential service available 24/7 where trained counselors provide support for a variety of emotional challenges. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor.
Visit our Resources page for a full directory of government and nonprofit support programs and services.
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